Morenike Bourn testimony

From: Morenike Bourn
Date: Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 8:44 AM
Subject: Testimony
To: Morenike Bourn

In the past I felt I wasn’t in a position to share testimony. I didn’t feel that I had reached a point to do that because I still suffer afflictions but I realize that doesn’t disqualify me and I believe I can be delivered from many things but if it’s God’s will for certain things to remain like Paul’s thorn in his flesh be it..
(2 Corinthians 11:16-33)

Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. Psalm 34:19

At this point in my life I realize the testimony is more about what God has done in our lives and less about what we have been through. It’s a disservice to God to not share what He has done for you and the mercy he gave you and how many chances me gave you when you could have easily died in your sin and woke up in hell. I have been forgiven and I’m a witness to His intervention in MY life, so that qualifies me to vouch for him to anyone that Jesus is the son of God, Yeshua HaMaschiach.

It’s not my intention to offend anyone but if it offends to keep someone out of hell so be it.

He is watching each one of us and he cares but he hates sin. He is patient because he loves us and doesn’t want any to perish. God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day (Psalms 7:11).

Testimonies are his testimonies, not ours. Testimonies of his love and mercy and to show unbelievers that he is real and show there is hope and more to life then this fractured world. It’s throwing someone a life saver in the corrupt waters of life that is pulling them down into darkness.

I come from a less than ideal childhood. Who hasn’t these days? It was very dysfunctional and overcrowded in the home with extended family. I can also see there was a lot of unaddressed mental illness and as a result of that very poor choices were made in regards to children in the house. There was a lot of enabling of unhealthy behavior and no one was training the children for the real world. I had an aunt that allowed her very troubled son live as a recluse and she allowed him to waste his potential sitting watching TV all day and pretty much being a tyrant controlling so much in the house. I grew up watching this grown man live that way not to mention that he traumatized me in many many ways. I was allowed to watch very grown up movies from small which were basically porno some of them. His mother was so dysfunctional defending him and enabling the unhealthy behavior. If anyone tried to approach her about getting him help she would fiercely defend her adult son. Her younger son was watching and sad to say he pretty much followed in the older brothers footsteps . After the mother somehow came to the realization how she had made a terrible mistake she put herself in a nursing home running from the problem she created, there she died. She left her 2 sons on my mother’s hands. My mother eventually left and moved in with me which I was happy for because I had always wanted to live with my mom in peace in a normal way. I had been living on my own for years but I jumped at the opportunity to live with my mother in peace and quiet. I really don’t understand why she stayed in the dysfunction and didn’t leave with me before any of it could touch me. Maybe it was devotion and loyalty to siblings. I will never understand it and she cant really tell me because of her dementia. My mom obviously tried to help those who didn’t wanna help themselves and sacrificed her own freedom, piece and even her own child. I came to these realizations over the last decade. I believe God wants to bring the darkness to light, at least in my eyes because I didn’t realize all this for a long time. The dysfunction was all I knew growing up so it was normal for me sadly. There were others living in the house who weren’t part of the problem from what I can tell. I had a uncle who was there for me and very fatherly and a peacemaker when my mother’s sister went into her rants.
God let me know in a dream several years ago he was there with me and I wasn’t as alone as I felt growing up.

I’m not trying to blame anyone for what happened to me. It’s not my intention to throw stones.

My father was never there for me and he didn’t take me out that situation when he easily could have. His rejection was very painful and led to depression and paved the way for acceptance of unhealthy attention and relationships with men. I found out not long ago that none of his family down south knew of my existence. He kept me a secret and has pretty much regretted my existence and considers me a mistake but u know what God doesn’t make mistakes.. The Bible says when parents forsake their children the Lord takes them up and he did take this unplanned child up. It was very overwhelming to find out that my father kept me a secret from all his relatives that mattered to him. Discovering they didn’t know about me brought to light just how deep his rejection went. Growing up all I knew was witchcraft and superstitions and that single mothers were the norm. My mom and her sister were both single mothers and that’s all I knew. They sought answers to their problems in the botanical and burned candles. The aunt would mop the floor with Florida water. Together they would see some very questionable characters for spiritual services. The demonic advice, candles, charms and oils from those spiritual advisors definitely added to the existing dysfunction in the home. I remember my mom would put oils from these people on my forehead everyday before school. These people were allowed to speak evil over me in their demonic prayers.

There were relatives that would visit when I was growing up who went to church all the time singing but they were carnal minded Christians and not one of them are with the faith today which would show they never were right with God. The love and fruit wasn’t there. Whenever there was a funeral they were there in a very big way, after people had died, but where were they while folks needed to be told about their sin & hell? They were self righteous and vain “church folk” . Not one of them told me or the family about Jesus. They came over to look down on the dysfunction but never to extend a hand to pull folks out the darkness. It’s sad but for MANY church is a building and a community center. I believed for a long time that was what it meant to be a Christian. Because of those relatives actions and inactions I thought Christianity was just another religion.
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 2 Timothy 3:5

I suffered a lot emotionally growing up and I eventually landed in foster care where I met Tomekia Elmore who was the first to share the gospel with me. She escorted me to the incinerator to throw out my witchcraft books. I ended up there after praying to God to get me out of that house and give me a normal life. It was a simple prayer but from my heart while in tears and pain. I didn’t know who God was at the time but I prayed something like “God creator of nature and the beautiful stars, if you are real show me, get me out of this house and give me a normal life”. I knew there had to be a God but I didn’t know who he was. I was 14/15 years old at the time. I had no home training and I did whatever I wanted to do.

I was not happy about the way I left the home and it was rather traumatic. It was against my will. Sometimes God answers our prayers in ways we don’t expect but he gets things done. Sometimes answered prayer happens in a way that is uncomfortable. I didn’t know what it was to do simple things before foster like chores, eating at a dinner table. I had no structure before then. Foster care was the intervention of God. I’m convinced that if anyone asks God to prove himself in the same way I did, as a kid, He will prove him self just the same and get those answers to you that you need so that you can reach a point of understanding and repent and have your own testimony. If anyone doesn’t ever believe, it’s because they don’t want to. God is always ready and willing to get you the information you need and in the most relatable way to you.

If God had not intervened I don’t know where I would be today. I would probably be in a mental hospital or dead. The experience I had in the dysfunctional family home was definitely crippling.

The confirmation that foster care was God’s hand was meeting another foster kid who was sold out for God. He used another girl like me, to speak to His word to me. He took me to a place where he could tell me what I needed to know. He led took me to where I would be told what the problem was as well as the solution through another person who was relatable to me. That is how He works, very simple. It’s always the same, just different experiences and people. When this girl spoke, it was with authority that wasn’t her own, wisdom beyond her years, and their was a presence on her that as undeniable. It was a peaceful presence and of love. It wasn’t the dark oppressive feeling of the demonic that accompanies witchcraft. Gods presence is gentle. She preached the gospel to every girl living in sin and even did her best with the staff. Even after they would tell her tone it down, she still shared the gospel by speaking and handing out chick cartoon tracts.

I’ve been walking with God since foster care. I haven’t always remained within God’s will since I but I learned something from each time I screwed up and lived in sin. Backsliding is a terrible thing but not uncommon to the Christian life. It’s been a rocky road but I’ve matured each season. Nothing was in vain because those learning experiences led me to a better understanding and reliance on the Lord today. That girl God used to speak to me lived a clean life when those her age were running wild. God hears and answers prayer. I know because he answered my prayers by removing me from my family home as a lost confused teenage girl who became a truant to protest to her mother just how unhappy she was with the situation.

That is God’s testimony of Morenike and He’s still working on me and I don’t know where he is taking me next or what’s in store but I rest in his peace because all things work for the good of those that love God. He said it, and he doesn’t lie. I still struggle with depression and anxiety but I’m believing for my healing and full deliverance. I do believe every generational curse has went broken in the name of Jesus Christ.