F.G.B.M.F.I. Testimony Page

by Dr. Kenneth Holcombe

I lay on my bed as my family gathered for the Sunday noon meal. I was the skinniest, tallest, most bashful 16 year old I knew of. It seemed that my older brother had already grabbed the important titles: Scholar at School, Number One Tennis Player, Best-Behaved Teenager, etc. My self-confidence was spinning lower and lower and I did not know how to stop the trend. I had stopped stuttering by that time, but everything else seemed bleak. I was one of those vulnerable kids who could be picked on and teased by others on any number of topics. I had dropped all extracurricular activities at school and stopped pursuing my hobbies. At times, my very spirit seemed to break. I tried in vain to muster up the confidence to get up and face my family and an aunt who was visiting at the time. I told myself that if my spirit broke again, I was just going to end my life. It is difficult to explain that kind of depression to those who have not experienced it. I felt my spirit break into pieces and I resolved to shoot myself in the head with my father's .38 automatic pistol. I felt relieved that I had made a decision which would end the pain of facing life. I decided to wait a week so I could be sure I wasn't acting in a drastic manner.

I attended church every Sunday, but I was complacent at best. The priest had once asked me to stop reading the hymnal while he was delivering the sermon. Thinking him to be as complacent as I was, I was stunned that he had noticed or cared. It happened to be my turn to serve as an acolyte at church the following Sunday. As the service came to an end, I raised the cross to lead the recessional. I hated looking into the eyes of the congregation, so I looked down on the floor as much as I could without falling or bumping into a pew. When I was even with my mother, I felt her eyes on me and I knew she was going to talk to me after church about looking up and maintaining good posture. I hated the thought of being chewed out just before I killed myself, so I dutifully looked up straight ahead to the back of the church. In the back of the church was a stained glass window of Jesus with His arms out. An inscription below stated, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Mat 11:28, KJV) That would have been powerful by itself as something to behold, something to inspire, but standing in front of the stained glass window was the real, living Jesus. His eyes radiated love like a carbon arc floodlight. I looked away briefly, stunned by the intensity of His love. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. He can "speak" love with His eyes. As I looked at Him the second time, I was overwhelmed by His presence and power. He was more real than anything I had ever seen. I looked away again, speechless but saying in my head, "He's really real; He is totally alive."

I put the cross away in its place in the church office and returned to the empty sanctuary. He wasn't there anymore in a visible form, but I was so excited I could barely move. His Holiness had hit me like a Mack truck. Rather than deciding not to commit suicide, I simply forgot about suicide. As soon as we got home, I found a Bible and started reading. I wanted to know every word He said, this One who loved me so boldly with His eyes.

It took me years to realize that I had reached at that time what I now call the "Demonic Point." The negative connotation of the name is designed to startle those who think they have said it all when they profess belief in God. I base the name of this spiritual point on "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble" (James 2:19, KJV). This point is certainly not bad but it's not enough. I had no doubts about the existence of God and I knew who Jesus was (and is), but like the demons, I had not surrendered myself completely to His purpose nor asked forgiveness according to His plan of salvation. I had not told anyone about my experience. Though I never failed to attend church, I had no real fellowship with nor accountability to other believers. I certainly wanted religion to be a part of my life, but the primary manifestation of religion in my life was my decision to be a conscientious objector.

After I was drafted in the Army, I learned that I was the first conscientious objector who was an Episcopalian. I was in Basic Training with other conscientious objectors and we often discussed and argued our doctrine. I soon realized that I had to ask Jesus to come INTO my life and heart as Savior. The view of Him on the outside was no longer sufficient. I prayed for forgiveness and accepted Him as Savior. I continued, however, to oppose the concept of the Baptism in the Holy Spirit. In fact, I was very skillful in arguing against the doctrine of the Pentecostal believers. One day, a Seventh Day Adventist and I were alone in the barracks, making fun of comments made by some of the Pentecostal believers about a revival going on in a local church. I made a comment which made the face of the Adventist soldier turn white. He whispered, "You shouldn't talk like that" and quickly left. I started crying and asked myself, "Who is this Holy Spirit I'm fighting?" I went to the revival that night determined to find out. When the pastor gave the altar call, I knelt down in the pew instead of going forward and prayed, "Jesus, you know how bashful I am; please baptize me in the Holy Spirit right here." I began speaking in a language I had never learned and felt the wonderful peace I experienced when I had seen Jesus. I experienced His holy presence within. Jesus was really on the inside now.

Months later, I was a medic at a hospital in Vietnam. I enjoyed wonderful fellowship with many other believers, not just the conscientious objectors. One day a fellow soldier told me dejectedly that he could not go to Heaven because he had killed an enemy soldier. I told him in a loud, firm voice that God was not going to send him to hell for functioning as a soldier. He looked me in the eye and said, "You know, Holcombe, you're not a conscientious objector anymore."

I then began examining every aspect of my faith and decided that I needed to be baptized in water by immersion. A fellow soldier who was an ordained minister took me outside to a hole in the ground filled with rainwater. I felt very embarrassed when everyone stopped their activities to listen to him read in a loud voice, "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?" (Rom 6:1, KJV) When I came up out the water, all fear and embarrassment had supernaturally departed. For the first time in my life, I had no fear of what others thought. It was as though my insides had always been churning and He had said, "Peace, be still" to my insides. It was not just peace, it was perfect peace. I was stunned by the sensation and protested to the minister, "Wait, I don't deserve this." He shrugged his shoulders and said as he walked away, "None of us do."

One night a tremendous explosion broke windows in Saigon 16 miles away from us. We were 3/4 of a mile from the explosion. We all ran to the bunkers and waited about an hour. When the call came for us to return to our tents, I felt for the first time in my life a tremendous urge to PRAY. I called for another believer to join me, but he said the crisis was over and he was tired. I did not know what to pray for, but the urge was powerful, something like having to go to the bathroom really bad. I knelt down in the dirt outside while passing scoffers made their comments. I prayed in a heavenly language because I had no idea what it was I needed to pray about so urgently. After about ten minutes, I experienced a definite sensation of peace and release.

I went to work the next morning in our arms room (probably the only one in Army history run by a conscientious objector). As he checked in his weapon, an officer from another unit told me that the explosion the previous night had been caused by a device placed by the Viet Cong on a small pad of ammo at the local ammo dump. "You guys are lucky the charge they put on the big ammo pad didn't go off because everyone here would have been killed." He said the timing device simply stopped 55 seconds before it was set to go off. Before I could tell Bob, the sergeant in our unit who served as my spiritual father, about my prayer and the officer's comments, he told me the same account about the timing device; he had heard about it from someone else.

I really thought I believed that God could do anything, but I met my match when the Holy Spirit led me to witness to Boyd, the biggest sinner in our unit. As he walked by Bob and me one evening, I murmured "Only six o'clock and Boyd is staggering drunk already." Bob called Boyd over and told me to pray for him. I told him I had witnessed to Boyd, read the Bible to him, and pestered him until Boyd asked me to "pick on somebody else." I said that nothing was working. Bob prayed a simple prayer as Boyd tried desperately to not fall over. All of a sudden, Boyd straightened up, yelled "It's God, I know it's God." He ran in his tent, grabbed a bottle of gin I had watched him purchase, took it outside and broke it in a garbage can. Boyd woke me up an hour early the next morning and wanted to go to the chapel to pray. I told him I needed my sleep. "What am I going to tell my five friends who are waiting outside?" he asked. I got out of bed and walked to the chapel with some of the most hard core, self-admitted sinners in Vietnam. Oh, the Grace of God.

Jesus has been with me over the years through many experiences. He was with me when my first wife, a pastor's daughter, decided to run off with a heroin addict. My father brought me his .38 pistol so I could kill both of them. By praying instead, I learned to forgive and release bitterness instead of embracing it.

Jesus was there when I was told that I could no longer be principal of the high school I had graduated from. A central office administrator explained that the investigation I had conducted into "P," a popular employee at the campus, had drawn criticism and that I would be reassigned to restore peace to the community. I prayed afterwards that God would show me what to do about my feelings concerning this incident. The Lord spoke in an audible voice and said, "Call P on the phone and apologize to him." I was indignant and demanded to know why I should apologize to a person who was responsible for seemingly ruining my career as an educator. Rather than answering audibly, the Holy Spirit showed me a real-life scene in my mind which had happened a year before as though I were watching a video on a TV set. I had gone into P's office with a visiting professor from a university where I attended classes to gain superintendent certification. I introduced the professor to P and made a very disparaging remark about P's alma mater. After wrestling with the Holy Spirit for a week, I called P and asked for his forgiveness. "I was jealous of the attention you received and I wanted to hurt you," I confessed. When I said those words, there was that feeling of perfect peace deep within. Jesus meant every word when he said, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." Mat 5:44 (KJV)

I prayed with a fellow worker to accept the Lord three years ago. He is now a member of the FGBMFI chapter where I serve as Treasurer. He recently told me that someone clicked the button on his FGBMFI web page (http://www.intx.net/ed/fgbmfi.html) indicating that he/she had prayed the prayer of salvation. He has received E-mail about his web page from Australia, Belgium, and France to name a few countries. The grace of God continues on around the world..

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Encouraging Thoughts

Confirmed miracles Paraplegic healed!

Ministry Testimonies:
China revival
Healing in Romania

Sample Testimonies: FORMER:

Testimony Categories

• Asian and Indian Testimonies
• Australian Testimonies
• Deliverance from Drugs
• Deliverance Testimonies
• Dreams, Visions and NDEs
• Emotional Healing Testimonies
• Faithfulness in Suffering
• Fasting Testimonies
• Freedom from Sexual Addiction
• Gifts of the Holy Spirit in Action
• Healing Testimonies
• Latin American Testimonies
• Miracles on Mission
• Other Testimonies
• Out of Agnosticism
• Out of Dead Religion
• Out of Occult
• Salvation Testimonies from North America
• Testimonies from Africa
• Testimonies from Europe
• Unusual Signs and Wonders
• External Links