A Man Sent from God - Ceci's story

A Man Sent from God - Part 6

(By Ceci Sullivan - Part Six )

It took faith to get involved, and that was one thing I didn�t have much faith in Jesus for....(getting personal in relationships.) How could I say I loved God whom I didn�t see, if I couldn�t love this man whom I did see? I wasn�t familiar with open and honest relationships. The more open I became, the more I could see who was �hiding.�

I understood how flattery works great ruin in relationships. I had looked to Jesus in faith for things, but now I needed him to give me faith to be honest about the judgments I was making in my heart. I needed faith to not be pretentious and tell the truth. The Bible is full of �put away lying and speak the truth to one another in love� messages.

I began taking those words seriously, believing we are members of each other. Cells that communicate falsely, or indifferently in our body cause cancer. I decided to be a life giving cell, rather than a cancerous cell in the Body of Christ. I really began to take the �logs� from my own eyes, so I could see clearly to help remove the specks from the eyes of my friends.

A few months after I gotten to know Gene, we both knew the Lord had caused our paths to cross for a reason. We got down on our knees and asked the Lord to confirm our relationship, by the mouth of two or three witnesses. We wanted others to confirm that we belonged together, and we knew we could trust God to open the eyes of others if we were to be together.

Within the span of a week, that�s exactly what happened. We courted for a year, then we married. Gene�s RULE over his flesh did a lot to show me the power and love of God. I knew Gene cared more for pleasing the Lord than gratifying his desires, and I know I can trust him. We have been married 14 years now, and his love continues to reveal God�s love and faithfulness to me.

His ability to rule himself before our wedding has proven to me his trustworthiness when we are apart. He chose pleasing Jesus above serving his flesh, and the spirit he carries he imparts to others. The fruit of Jesus� spirit is self-control. As athletes need training, me and many like me are thankful to Jesus for sending us a �personal trainer� who can teach us the ways of �self-control.� Many throughout history have been destroyed through uncontrolled lust. How many never accessed the help that was right in front of their face because of pride and an unwillingness to receive the ones Jesus sends to them?

One of Gene�s closest friends shared his testimony about how he loved to lust after women. I had never really heard men be open and honest like that. He said, "help me love what you love Jesus and hate what you hate." I remember feeling short-circuited. Could it be that simple...Repent and believe Jesus can help you?

He said he confessed his sins, and people prayed for him, and Jesus healed him. I thought to myself, �after all the books, counseling, and money we�ve spent, wouldn�t it be hysterical if it was that simple?� I saw this man, along with Gene and other men have enough humility to be honest and open. I realized Michael�s biggest problem was pride! Jesus hates pride above all things!

Michael always lied to protect his pride, that�s why he could never get helped! Not even from his own brother who had been treating sexual offenders all the years Michael had been sexually offending! If it�s true that �nothing is hidden that will not be revealed, and whatever you hide in the dark will be shouted from the house tops�, I absolutely declared I wouldn�t hide anything ever again. I saw what killing your pride by telling the truth had done for these men, and I wanted what they had! (Peace and confidence before Jesus and men).

They believed in Jesus because they yielded their lives to His holy word. They loved the Praise of God more than the praise of men, and they had no fear of being condemned by men. The only way to know if Jesus words are true is to do them. That�s why they knew the words of Jesus were true. They did them! Way too simple for a complicated mind like mine!?

I had mentioned earlier that my baby daughter had gone to be with my sister. When I was confident that Michael�s sentence was not subject to appeal and after I was recovered from the ordeal we would make arrangements for the baby�s return. My sister knew I was unstable and wanted to help me not make any unwise decisions during a time of crisis. My baby girl was sixteen months old at the time she went to stay with my sister. Michael�s actual sentencing was almost one year later.

I met Gene just after the sentencing and one year later, we were married. During this period I saw my little girl only about four times because of my sister's location being on the east coast. My mind set at this time was still very doubtful. It�s hard to explain, but even though Jesus was using Gene to bring me great hope and give me vision and direction, I was still thinking that this was not really going to last. Any day something will come up and I will once again be on my own. It took me a few years to stop having "Faith for disaster"!

At this point I would like to go back to something that happened the night after I met Gene at the concert. I had a dream and in the dream I was in my bathroom getting ready for the day when I noticed a rank odor with a stench that made me believe something dead was in there. I looked up and high up attached to the ceiling was a �body bag� with Michael inside. He had been dead a long time.

The thought came to me that I needed to call the men in white suits to come and get him. Three men in white shirts came and got the body bag down and took him away. The eerie thing is the phone rang and it was Michael calling from the prison. I wondered if God was trying to show me Michael�s conscience was dead towards Him, and I was �dragging a dead body around.�

I went to breakfast later that morning and thought it was ironic that he and the two men with him all had on white ministry t-shirts. I did not remember this or put it together until a couple of weeks later, after the church incident where the Lord healed my ears and where I had spilled the coffee on myself. I had the three of them over for dinner. After dinner I went to my cabinet and drug out all the newspaper articles about Michael and his life of crime which I had faithfully been saving from day one!

Gene spoke to me about how it was keeping me spiritually attached to Michael and the utter reproach of being yoked to him. He told me that if I were to ever be free, I would need to completely put off the old and allow �all things� to be made new! He helped me to see that thoughts are words and words are food. The food we eat (what we allow ourselves to think) is what we will become and how we will be in our spirit and in our character. I would say that this was the beginning of my walk away from a life of bondage and trying to fix myself into the freedom and life of letting go of my control and trusting my future to God�s hands..

That night I gathered everything that had to do with Michael, our past, and every picture and article. I put it all in a garbage bag and Gene took it away with him and the guys when they left. The three men in white ministry t-shirts had come and taken away the stinking dead body of the past. I could now start over. All my life growing up and throughout my married life, I considered the counseling and counselors...psychologists, doctors, Priests, family, friends, and in-laws; �no one� ever reflected to me the simplest and most fundamental thing I must first do...�Put out the offender�...stop living with your tormentors. The fundamental words of the Master �he who loses his life will find it. He who keeps his life will lose it!�

So let us go back to one year after Michael�s sentencing when Gene and I married.... I had said that my mind-set was one of doubt, that any day now, disaster will strike. Although I was truly free from Michael, I was not at all free from my foundational enemy, �Rejection�! There is a scripture in Jeremiah 17:1 which says, �the sin of Judah is written with a pen of iron, with the point of a diamond is it graven upon the table of their heart.� ....this is exactly what rejection throughout my lifetime had done to me. Rejection was deeply engraved in my soul.

I heard, saw, and responded to most people out of the engraved spirit of rejection in my heart. I always felt like there was something that I needed to do for people so that they would not reject me. I believed it was my responsibility to prove myself in all relationships, and failed to see the responsibility of others. I don�t think Michael had people in his life hold him responsible, and I knew it was a tragedy that he believed life didn�t have consequences.

It created great fear and doubt in me toward others also because I never thought that I could ultimately do enough in the relationship to keep it free from offense. This created skepticism and control in me toward those who were closest. I was so afraid of being rejected, I would create scenario�s to get Gene to reject me. I didn�t believe he could love me. I would many times �third-degree� him when he was out during the day, thinking that he would end up being as unfaithful to me as Michael was.

I�ll never forget the look on his face and what he said to me when the Lord opened his understanding to my accusations and fears. He said, �I am willing to prove my love and faithfulness to you by logging my time and meetings. I�ll tell you who I�ve seen, what was said, how long it took and where I went next if it will help you to know that I love you and will never be unfaithful!� I broke down crying for quite some time. This was a man who ran into responsibility, not away from it. He was willing to prove his love. I realized this was a man who knew and looked to Jesus. He responded to my problems spiritually, not carnally. It was making the difference between hell on earth, and heaven on earth in my soul.

My mother had come to our wedding and had gone out with Gene and I once or twice to talk with us after we were married. I felt like her concerns were just a mom being normal, but Gene was uncomfortable with her pretense. It was something I grew up with and was totally familiar with and didn't see at first. The day came soon enough when my family's hidden agenda would be clearly seen.

Everything up to this point was hidden. I had not asked my sister to bring my daughter back and she had not offered. Nothing was spoken about it. One day Gene began to draw me out about my feelings in getting her back. It was like listening to someone else talk. I could not give a clear sound. Inside I wanted her back. Outside I knew that my sister did not want to give her up and I didn't want to cause her pain. I also did not want to face the family feud which I knew would ensue.

To Gene it was without question that she should come back. She is your daughter. The only reason that your sister has her now is because of your having to run from a murderous husband and to give you aid in time of peril. Your peril is over. But...your sister loves your baby and it wouldn�t be right to just go ask for her back, but we definitely need to go speak with her. He saw the other children were devastated by her absence.

Gene and I flew to the east coast to talk to my sister personally about the situation. We sat up late with her and we poured out our hearts to each other. She knew my pain and I saw hers. She had her own revelation that the baby should come be with us. I broke down hysterically with unbelievable joy - she was offering my baby back. We didn�t have to ask for her, she saw it was the right to restore our family after the storm had passed. My sister admitted that she knew in her heart if we thought the baby belonged with us we should leave with her in the morning. Her time was over as a guardian angel who had kept a baby safe in a nightmare. She saw it was right for the other children.

When we got up the next morning, my sister was gone. She had taken the baby with her, and had gone to get a court order against us. She and my mom had accused me of being an unfit mother. (Although they weren�t trying to have the other children removed from my custody.) My sister had money and influence; I didn�t even have a lawyer. When you're up against money and power, the battle looked grim. God allowed her to adopt the baby however. I know the purpose for that has yet to unfold. Even when Social Services did a home study about our family conditions, they recommended the baby be returned to us. My mother was motivated by fear rather than love and faith most of her life also. She later came to realize this.

Although I was greatly saddened by my family's betrayal, I had understanding and a grace which allowed me to move on and to know that God's purposes would be fulfilled. And basically, what in truth we were dealing with was the persecution of our faith that Jesus talks about. If the people around you do what they do because of fear and you do what you do because of faith and love, it will bring division.

How strange it was, that through all of Michael's criminal behavior, his drinking and his anger, my family thought me to be normal and would not have considered taking my children away from me or accusing me of being unfit. If I were unfit at any time in my life it was during the last year of my marriage to Michael. Why weren't they taking me to court back then?

The plain truth is that I had no testimony of Jesus in all that was happening then. All I could do was relate to them on a carnal, sensual level. The dead religion we were raised in has no real belief that God is involved personally through His son Jesus in our lives. And that He will actually speak to us in our spirit and give us wisdom and guidance.

Had I been enlightened with the Holy Spirit and had the people of God come into my life back then, would my family have gone after me then? As a child I never understood why the people back in Jesus day killed him. As I grew older and went to church it just became fact but I never really understood why people get so threatened by those who have encountered the Living God of the Bible!

Spiritual persecution is merely two people whose spirits are in disagreement or in conflict, and one decides to punish the other to stay in control. And this is what my family was doing. Using the ignorant and ungodly courts and prejudiced system of law to justify their lies and control. Jesus said, "when they do these things, they'll think they are doing God a service." I never was persecuted when I loved and served myself, and couldn't have cared less about serving Jesus. I let Michael control me, and now I was yielding to the Spirit of the Living God, and they thought I went crazy.

Out of the blue one day, we received a phone call. It was my daughter; she was ten. We were ecstatic, because we had been kept from her for years. She ended up coming to visit us several times, and now lives with us. She sees the emptiness of living for money, education and position in life, and the loneliness and lack of true fulfillment it brings. She sees life without faith and love in it isn't worth living. She is becoming familiar with honest, open, and sincere relationships. She has given up trashy music and TV programs and feeds her heart and spirit with good things rather than destructive things.

She has value in knowing Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life! She was tormented because she violated her God conscience all the time but now she is getting in touch with following the integrity of God's Spirit in her heart. My mother also within the last year has repented for her unfounded fears and imaginations about Gene and I and how it affected relationships over the years. We talk on a regular basis and enjoy a relationship in spirit and in truth. Love and faith have replaced fear and unbelief. I have a saying I like to quote ... "perfect fear, casts out love." There is a fear that isn't good, the fear that keeps us from reaching out and loving someone.

Jesus took twelve men and lived in a close relationship with them. He loved them enough to get very involved in their lives, and to teach them to get very involved in lives of others. He didn't send them away to Bible college to learn to love their brother. Gene along with other men I know, don't read to men from a pulpit, they get personally involved in the lives of others! Not a popular concept for those who feel good and righteous because they went to church on Sunday and Wednesday, but never got too close to anyone, nor let anyone close to them.

I saw Gene give people his heart; he talked openly about the motives and intentions of his heart, and helped other's have the faith to face the motive and intentions of their hearts. All I could do was cry. I wondered what would have happened if Michael's father would have given him his heart? What if he was honest with him about his own lust and pretense, would it have made a difference in his life?

I look back on all the priests, counselors, and men in the churches we attended who were not honest and open about overcoming sin in their lives. They didn't have the testimony of Jesus regarding their sin and selfishness. If they did, they loved their own lives too much to talk about it. They weren't open, and they didn't produce openness in the lives of other men. They "bore fruit after their own kind."

The love of Jesus in my heart for my children demanded me to find answers for them. I didn't want them to walk down the path of destruction and perversion that generations in our family had, which I haven't still gone into great depth about. (It would take a book). I don't condemn my family, but I can't close my eyes to reality and deny Jesus with them anymore. I love Jesus, the light, and most of them don't...what fellowship has light with darkness? I love and pray for them, and believe Jesus to send others into their lives they might not reject. I lived in the dark, and Jesus sent His people to me to walk in the light with. Now I live to help others (who will let me) walk in the light with Jesus, the Son of God, who is light!

Meeting people who didn�t hide their sin, but exposed it, has changed my life forever! Consider the movie, "Schindler�s List". One man doing what was right, what love demanded, saved the lives of many. All who have eyes to see the path His life has laid out for us, and receive Him are saved! I thank God He sent men my way, who were doing what was right, what love demands. It�s helped me to be the one sent, and to send to others the message of deliverance from the kingdom of darkness, into the Kingdom and Government of God. God's government is shown in the lives of those who submit to His will and ways, rather than being led by their appetites, passions, emotions and desires.

In the book of Acts, it shows the Apostle Paul was required to receive Annanias so he could receive his sight. Cornelius also, after being visited by an angel, was instructed to send for a man, Peter. Cornelius received Jesus BECAUSE He received Peter. If Cain would have humbled himself to receive his brother Abel, God would have received his offering. His evil heart towards his brother was his ruin. God, throughout history, has ordained men to be messengers of His Word and Grace.

The Bible says, "there was a man sent from God and his name was John." In my case, his name was Gene. God has always sent men. He promised to! He sent Jesus, and Jesus sent men! Michael chose to be an ambassador of hell and death. Gene chose to be an ambassador of Faith, Hope, Love, and Jesus! We all must choose who we will represent. I want to have the bread of life, the drink of Heaven for all who Jesus sends my way.

He's coming back to reward us for what we have done...for what we DID about what we THOUGHT...for what we said, and how we affected each other, good and bad. Our words are on a mission, they operate on the hearts of those around us. What mission are your words on? What operation do you perform in the lives of those around you? (JOB 29:12-16)

That's the end of my story but in actuality it is not the end. My life is just beginning! God's Word says in I Cor 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

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Update: My mom came and spent two weeks with us. It was a miracle. She was open and confessed she needed to stop denying Jesus before men. She asked many deep questions, and had a spiritual openness, and a degree of hunger for righteousness. Love and faith have superseded, fear and unbelief. She sees that "Wisdom is truly found in her children." She sees her grandchildren possesses the peace of God which passes all understanding and that speaks volumes to her. Evil imaginations have been replaced by faith, hope and love.

Ceci

Postscript here...

Ceci

Encouraging Thoughts

Confirmed miracles Paraplegic healed!

Ministry Testimonies:
China revival
Healing in Romania

Sample Testimonies: FORMER:

Crack addict - Deena
Lesbian - Adelaide
Satanist - Candace
Occultist - Vincent
Witch - Katina
Street Kid - Mario
Catholic Priest - Richard

Testimony Categories

A Personal Challenge For You

The people of the world can be divided into two groups. The first group are those who can clearly point to the intervention of Jesus Christ in their lives. The second are those who cannot. If you are in this latter group PLEASE don't let another hour go past before you get right with God. He loves you and has a great plan for your life! But there must be change. If you are religious but can't point to a definite work of God in your life YOU NEED to get born again in the Bible way. To find out how to get right with God, click here now.

If however, you are in the first group and you have a testimony of Christ's working in your life, God wants you to share it. Read HERE about the power of your testimony. You can overcome Satan by the Word of your testimony, and help others to find faith in Christ.

Would you like to do this? If so, start writing your testimony as soon as you can, and THEN, e-mail your testimony to me here so we can publish it for you online. Post it on the testimonies bulletin board here. In this way you are helping to fulfil the Great Commission. Some testimonies on this site are reaching 10 or even 20 people per day. Our team wishes to help people share their testimonies through the internet. Let us together bring hope to those who don't know the reality of our wonderful Savior Jesus Christ.

Michael